The Silent Battles: What We Don't Tell Our Colleagues About Life Outside Work
Uncover the hidden mental burden of maintaining a perfect professional facade while navigating personal challenges.
Hello BAE Community Members,
This Tuesday, let's peel back another layer of "the professional" and talk about the unspoken realities of "the person" behind it. We show up, deliver our work, manage stakeholders, and navigate project complexities.
We're composed, articulate, and problem-focused.
But what about the other life we live? The one happening before and after work hours?
Often, we keep those worlds strictly separate. We don't bring personal challenges—a family health issue, a financial worry, a relationship struggle, or even just a bad night's sleep—into the office.
We put on our professional "game face," even when inside, we might be quietly fighting a significant battle.
It’s an unspoken rule of corporate life: compartmentalise. Be professional. Don't let your personal life impact your work.
And while professionalism is crucial, the relentless pressure to hide our humanness, to pretend everything is perfectly fine, carries a heavy, invisible burden.
The BA's Hidden Load
As Business Analysts, we are acutely aware of context. We piece together fragmented information to form a complete picture for projects. Yet, ironically, we often strive to present an utterly seamless, unfragmented version of ourselves. We're expected to be logical, objective, and unflappable, which makes admitting personal struggles feel counter to our professional identity.
I've seen this with many of the BAs I've worked with and coached, and it's a burden I've carried too.
The mental gymnastics of managing a critical project deliverable while simultaneously worrying about a sick parent, or forcing a smile during a team meeting when your mind is racing with personal anxiety.
This constant energy expenditure—of maintaining the facade—is draining. It can impact your focus, your creativity, and even your ability to connect authentically with others.
It’s the person behind the professional silently carrying the weight of their world, believing they must do it alone, or risk being perceived as less capable.
The Power of Authentic Connection
The truth is, everyone around you—your colleagues, your manager, your clients—is also a person navigating their own complex life.
While inappropriate oversharing is never the goal, a quiet commitment to greater authenticity, even if only with one trusted individual, can be profoundly liberating.
You don't need to broadcast your struggles, but recognising that this hidden burden exists, and allowing yourself to be human (even behind the professional mask), is an act of profound ❤ self-love ❤.
It's about acknowledging that your challenges, fears, and vulnerabilities are not weaknesses to be hidden, but aspects of your complex, resilient self. And true connection, whether with a trusted friend or even just with yourself, begins when we allow a little more of our full selves to breathe.
Practical Action: The "One Confidant Rule"
Identify one trusted person in your life outside of work (a friend, family member, mentor, or even a coach). This week, intentionally share one small, real struggle or feeling you're experiencing with them. It doesn't have to be a major crisis—just something you've been carrying alone. Practice the vulnerability of sharing a small piece of your "behind the professional" self.
All the best,
Esta
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